Endometriosis & Infertility

By now you may know that I suffer from endometriosis at its highest stage, and therefore with infertility. I’ve been wanting to get pregnant for years, but nothing was working, not the surgeries, nor the hormonal treatments, nor the egg retrievals which made it impossible to even get to the full IVF process.

All the decisions my surgeons and doctors have taken ever since I was (officially) diagnosed back in 2017, were taken based on my health and the state of my organs, pain management, and fertility.
The first years, all my focus was on my fertility despite the unbearable and nearly constant pain; I was only 21 years old and explained that my condition was also affecting my ability to get pregnant, I fought for a few years and tried to get pregnant with medical assistance, a lot of it, but again, nothing worked.
I was just 24 years old but my mental and my body was extremely tired by the surgeries, procedures, and treatments. It was hard and I can’t say that I “accepted” my infertility because I was broken by the thought of not being able to experience pregnancy, and have a child in whom I would recognize my husband and I, but I decided that I just couldn’t do all of this anymore as it was constant physical, as well as mental pain, and that when time will come, my husband and I will start the adoption process.

My husband spent Summer 2019 balancing between work and carrying for my health which was degrading very quickly, with my endometriosis spreading all over my digestive, and urinary system on top of the usual uterus, ovaries, and Fallopian tube combo.

My Latest Surgery

We were so lucky to find the greatest surgeon, Doctor Marlain, who listens to me so attentively, took a lot of her time for me, and is so experienced and passionate about her work.
I knew she was different by her approach to my case, and through the questions she was asking me, from our very first consultation. I had unconditional amount of trust in her right away, and for the first time, I was entering the surgery room with a lot of hope; thinking that when I’ll have recovered from this surgery, I will be able to get out of bed for more than 2 hours a day, walk for more than 15 minutes on my own, help my husband around the house, not cry from pain and bleed at every single trip to the restroom, and stop suffering incessantly. I remember my thoughts going to my husband as I was put under anesthesia, and a last tiny hope for an eventual baby.

She operated on me at the end of the very end of September 2019, a long and hard surgery, with a tough recovery, and a few additional scars to my belly. Our purpose post-surgery was to keep my ovaries at rest for a few months now that my insides were cleaned and my organs were released, and detached from one another. We decided to use Decapeptyl monthly shot to put me under artificial menopause, in which we added the Visanne pill, as my previous experiences with any type of contraceptive pills and artificial menopause haven’t worked out for me.

The weeks following the surgery, I was slowly but surely recovering from home, and feeling better and energized after some very tough months (and even years), made me believe in our dream of having a child again; but after way too many disappointments over the past few years, I forced myself to not believe in it too loudly, nor picture myself with a family, and just wait, as anyway, Dr.Marlain’s plan was for my ovaries to get some rest for half a year and take it from there.

It was the very first time in nearly 5 years that I was living my life for me, not having to consider the state of my health at this time nor for several months, and not taking every personal or professional decision hearing my fertility countdown clock ticking.

I was suspecting the treatment to put my ovaries to rest to not work, as I was feeling a bit of cramping during ovulation and bleeding at during what could corresponder to menstruation; but post a surgery such as mine, it was a bit hard to tell as spotting is normal, and it may not work from the very first injection, and as my pain was clearly relieved since the surgery, we decided to wait a little more before putting me up for more tests.

IVF And Pregnancy

Two months later, and still on artificial menopause and birth control, I was complaining about sharp pain in the nipples, as well as cramping in my uterus for a couple of days, and as we were in France, visiting my family for Christmas, we decided to start the process of IVF as it’s a lot of documents and paperwork to gather and fill up as well as a few appointments and tests, just so our file will be ready in a few months when we’ll have Dr.Marlain’s approval, for the IVF.

January 6th 2020, appointment at the hospital in the morning for my husband’s tests, and mine in the afternoon. My fertility doctor in France, Doctor Gaid, has been following me for several years now, but with our move to Dubai the past year, and despite the fact that we stayed in touch through email, my husband and I needed to talk to her through my latest surgery and treatments.
After a few minutes of reading the report and seeing the images of the surgery, she asks us a few questions for the IVF file, and asks me how am I doing, I tell her that I feel a lot better ever since the surgery but that I had the toughest time the few months prior the surgery, and that I worry a little now because I’ve been experiencing cramping, spotting, and a sharp pain in the nipples triggered by the cold. She teases me about the nipple pain and tells us that it should get better once back in Dubai heat, while walking toward the ultrasound room for a quick image to put on the file, as well as a pelvic exam, cervix swab, and a Pap test.
As she started the ultrasound she asked me again in a more serious tone when my nipples pain started, and I noticed that something was happening, so I looked at the screen on my right, and saw this very tiny dot, which I instantly thought was a new endometriosis cyst. I asked her if everything was fine, and she told me that I’ll need to pee on a stick and come back with it.

Now I know that almost anyone would understand what was happening at this moment, but I just couldn’t believe it to the point that I was not even sure that it was a pregnancy test. My doctor left the room to get a pregnancy test in the next room and I took the opportunity to catch up with my husband who was waiting for me at the desk, for some reason he answered “I knew it”, he always remained optimistic about us, and one day having a family. I told him that I thought it was a cyst and asked him to net get too excited to avoid disappointment.

As I was walking back from the toilet and toward the doctor’s office, I didn't even check the result on the test as I’ve always seen in the movies the girls waiting for 2-3 minutes to get the right result, part of me was beyond excited and happy, but I didn’t want to get my hopes too high, and be sad; we had decided on a plan post surgery, and it will work out in its right time. While I handed the test to the doctor, not even a full minute after dumping it into my urine, she looked at me and my husband, with a gigantic smile and said “they did a really great job in Dubai, it’s positive!”.

My first reaction was to not believe it, I had so much struggle with my fertility for the past years that I had made my brain believe that it was literally impossible for me to get pregnant. I had also been in pain for such a long time, much before I was actually diagnosed with endometriosis and heard bad news at every MRI, and procedures that the reaction I had to, I suspect, protect myself from more mental trauma linked to all of this, was to simply not believe it.

The doctor handed me the test for me to be able to see it with my eyes. I looked at the test, then at my husband who was smiling at me, and I still couldn’t fully believe it; I guess part of me did as I felt happy tears rolling down my face. I was the happiest person in the entire world, I still am; and seeing my husband smiling, and so amazed by everything that had just happened and most importantly, what was about to happen was one of the best moments of my life.
I just wanted to scream and jump into my husband’s arms, kiss him and tell him that he was going to be a dad in just 9 little months. My emotions were all so strong and all over the place, and I wanted to let them out, but I tried to remain as calm as I could while I was in the doctor’s office, looking at my husband with a lot of pride, love, and excitement while the doctor was filling the prescription she was about to hand to me a few minutes later, with the name of different pregnancy vitamins, and some pregnancy routine blood work, as well as the picture of our tiny little 5 weeks old naturally implanted embryo.

The picture from the ultrasound that was supposed to go to our IVF file had become the very first picture of our son. 

I wish to end this article by dedicating it to my favorite human being in the world, my husband: thank you for being so supportive and encouraging of every idea I ever had and will ever have, as well as supporting every decision I take and respecting all aspect of my life. But also for always remaining positive and patient when I can’t, and for taking care of me through everything. I couldn’t be prouder to be someone’s wife, and couldn’t be happier to share my life, and a child with you. I’m so grateful to be able to call you my husband, and will always love you, just for you.