List of Things I wish I'd done differently during pregnancy
My pregnancy was something I dreamt of since I was a little girl, and something that never left my mind. I role-played motherhood my entire childhood, and pictured my future pregnancy from my early teen years to my actual pregnancy, at 25; from the perfect person I’ll fall in love with, and decide to have a family with, to finding out that we were pregnant and so on. But the truth is, I never imagined any of it the way it actually happened. Getting pregnant was a battle full of difficulties and step-backs that we fought through for years. I know that life changing experiences, or ones that you’ve spent decades envisioning and planning for rarely happen the way you imagined, but my experience towards and through pregnancy was far from what I had in mind considering my struggles with endometriosis and infertility.
Now when I fall asleep every night between my husband and son, I wouldn’t change a thing of how everything unfolded. However, looking back on my pregnancy, there are without a doubt things that I’d do differently if I had known better. Some of these advices are ones you hear all the time from the people that already have children and know what’s to come once your baby will be out, but that you choose to dismiss thinking you know better. And some are the ones you actually need but no one tells you because they just think that telling you to sleep is a priority (and it is!).
Embrace My Body
It’s no secret that with pregnancy come body changes, a lot of them. If you look at social media, or movies or anything that isn’t real life, you’ll see a woman unchanged by pregnancy, beside for her rounded belly, and this is so wrong. . The belly is easy to love as we know exactly (or so) what is happening inside, and can feel it. But what about all the other things changing? Overall weight gain, pregnancy acne and other skin problems, fluid retention, swollen face, neck, hands, feet etc. I remember thinking that my face looked like a puffy version of me, and so did my fingers on which I couldn’t fit my rings anymore, and my feet that just wouldn’t fit my shoes. I had a really hard time appreciating my body, I was very grateful for what it was doing and what it was going to bring into our lives, but it didn’t stop me from being very self-conscious and lose most of my confidence.
If I have one “regret” when it comes to my pregnancy, it’s the fact that I didn’t accept my body changes the way I deserved to. Especially now, knowing how normal these changes actually are, and how fast a healthy body bounces back post-partum.
Don’t compare your body and pregnancy changes, especially to women that aren’t real: most pregnant women on social media have edited their pictures and picked the best one, me included, the pregnant ladies in the movies aren’t really pregnant, it’s only a pillow underneath their outfit picked by a stylist, Kylie Jenner’s and Beyoncé’s pregnancy pictures have been edited by the magazine etc. Just embrace your physical changes during pregnancy, it’s only temporary.
Spend Time With Hubby
Pregnancy is tiring, and it’s very tempting to postpone things, even the things that you really want to do. I get that creating a perfect little person takes a lot from us, but raising him/her will take so much more, trust me. More energy, and much, much more time. These are the last few weeks before a good 15 years that you can enjoy with your other half, just the two of you. And if there’s a time to be as close as ever with your partner, and strengthen your relationship, it’s now; parenthood is tough on a couple, especially the first few months (years?). So go get close!
Plan weekly date(s), play games, make love, write each other love notes, make big gesture on occasion and small gestures everyday, just enjoy each other and fall in love even deeper.
Oil Better
My husband and I had a ritual from the day we found out we were pregnant until the very last day, right before I gave birth: before sleeping, he used to talk, sing and feel baby through my belly and rub some oil to prevent stretch marks. On top of this, I applied oil in the morning as well, and most days a third time at a random hour.
Applying oil 3 times a day to prevent stretch marks was very effective for me (of course genetics also have their say in this), but I neglected to rub the oil as much on my hips which slightly cracked.
If I had known better, I would have applied at least two times a day (three times is always better) the oil, from breast to thighs, and massaging it deep into the skin. Don’t forget, it’s not only the belly that grows during pregnancy; the rest might not extend as much but it still does.
Don’t Dismiss People I Love Because Of The Hormones
Pregnancy hormones tend to intensify feelings (even old feelings), this associated to all the many physiological and psychological changes, your mood swings will hit the ceiling, every day, and many times a day, which may cause you to get upset with your loved ones for what may seem like a very good reason, but really, it isn’t.
You need love and support through pregnancy, and even more during parenthood (and life in general). I know, it’s hard to when all that estrogen and progesterone are playing tricks with your mind and are twisting your feelings, but try to outsmart them when and if you can.
More Trust In My Cravings & Appetite
It’s not unusual to develop (even further) a sweet tooth, have daily (or/and nightly) cravings during pregnancy, or increased appetite.
Your hormones are likely to affect your hunger levels, so you may need to keep an eye on the food you eat; but your cravings and appetite are also significantly higher. They might be fulfilling some of your nutritional needs or your baby’s.
Of course, it’s important not to go on a binge of junk food, remember that you want to properly feed your baby. But it’s also unnecessary to feel guilty about the full bag of salt and vinegar chips you had earlier after your ice cream, so long as it remains occasional.
It’s all about balance, listen to your body and your cravings but don’t go beyond.
Do Me
These are the last weeks of the life you’ve been having ever since you were born, living “selfishly” is not going to happen, ever again! So do transform your bathroom into a spa twice a week, make your own beauty product or purchase the ones you’ve always wanted to try, get your hair done, indulge yourself a weekly massage, keep up with your tan, take naps, take your own self out, take your husband out, go to the beach, take a girls trip, go to Bali, whatever will fulfill your soul, do it, do you!
Becoming a parent is beautiful, you’ll then wonder how you lived without your child all this time, but all these are things you won’t get a lot of chance to do again for a good while, so do them.
Meal Prep
This is something you really want to do.
Cooking takes time, and coming home from giving birth with a tired body, very little sleep in, and a newborn will keep you busy; having healthy meals prepared in advance will be a big weight lifted off your shoulders.
Prepare different kinds of meals to defrost according to your desires and nutritional needs. It’s a lifesaver during the toughest (yet wonderful) times of parenthood.
More And More Sleep
I know, this is something everyone has told you since the day you announced your pregnancy, and it’s annoying. But it’s true.
When I was pregnant, I was so uncomfortable from the very first month, my nose was blocked, I was nauseous all the time, experiencing constant heartburn, and towards the end I was feeling so heavy; all of these made it hard for me to get proper sleep the entire pregnancy, and I naively thought that I’ll sleep better once my son will be here. I still have not been able to.
So rest, take naps, and sleep in, you won’t regret it.
Enjoyment Over Impatience
At one point during pregnancy, you just want to take back your body. You may love this wonderful little one to the moon and back, you get over picking up something you dropped being a challenge, you just want him out so you are able to move easily again. And above all, you can’t wait to meet him/her anymore.
When you reach this point, you’ll cry, feel terrible, whine to whoever is around you, etc. Your feelings are all valid, and you need to let them out, but the smartest way to approach this situation is simply, not to live thinking you are going to give birth in the next hour just because that’s what you wish for.
Baby is going to come, that is certain. Let him come on his own time despite your impatience, because it’s going to spoil the last moment of your “life before you become a mom”.
Do things for you, go out with your friends, go on those dates we’ve talked about before, and take care of you.
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